Why you don't take the kids out to eat in Europe

I'ts a gorgeous almost-fall day.  So after school, we pack up the swim suits, perhaps for the last time this year, and bus to Lake Salzachsee.  In full sunshine and a mountain breeze, I dive into the lake and casually observe that the temperature of the water on this fine September day feels just a touch — WHOA, THAT'S COLD!  ("He's all right, folks.  Cancel the ambulance.  He's still moving.")  Inspired by dad's brave example, the kids swim and run and squeal until the sun sets.

Watching the kids burn so many calories has made me ravenously hungry.  I dumbly suggest we eat out tonight.  In my malnourished state, I have forgotten that we are not in Canada anymore; we are in Europe, where restaurants cater, as a rule, to adult couples and tourists.  Having changed at home, we're seated at a charming Austrian homestyle restaurant.  And yet all of us are grouchy.  I am wondering why no one is having any fun.  Then it hits me:  not only are there no kids' menus, but the kids can't even make sense of the adult menu, seeing as it's printed in this medieval Hear Ye! type face.  The waiter had simply rattled off two things the chef could make for the kids — in a rapid dialect which the kids couldn't understand — and we'd chosen for them.  Right off the bat, half the fun of eating out for a kid is gone.  To fill the time in between, there is nothing for them.  Crayons and drawable placemats?  Shirley temples with crazy straws?  Nope.  North American inventions, not known here.  

And they are taking their sweet time in the kitchen.  Honeymooners will happily gaze over the table at each other for 45 minutes, but kids famished from swimming all day won't.  Bettina is falling apart with hunger and boredom.  Therese is starting to grumble, too.  I hand out pretzel sticks from our bag just to prevent a mutiny.  

Praise heavens, the food is truly delicious when it finally comes, and everyone's moods improve.  In this sense, I suppose the 20 extra gourmet-minutes the chef spent primping the meal were worth it, but this dad has learned his lesson.