Child A was caught being evil to Child B last week. We had lectured A about this particular variant of evil twice before, and so this latest act called for swift discipline.
I cycled through the usual menu. Loss of allowance? Extra chores? Grounding? Indentured servitude? None seemed right. They all felt so…what's the word? Meaningless. They would satisfy my thirst for vengeance, and justice might even be "served", whatever that means—as if "Justice" were some vane deity who feeds off human retribution—but deep down, I knew that whatever consequence I chose, Child A would regret having been caught but not having done it.
What would send the right message? What is the message? Don't be mean? That's only the tip of it. What I really want is for A to be kind to others because she desires to be kind, because she enjoys being kind. And I could think of no punishment that would bring this about.
Therese found the solution. It was so crazy and so obvious, it just might work. And it did. The speech went something like this. "A, sometime before the weekend, your punishment is to think of something kind to do for B. Something that will surprise her and make her smile! Something that will show her that you love her, which I know that you do. I'll leave it to you to decide what it will be. The only rule is, you have to do it before the weekend. On Sunday, I'm going to ask B what you did for her. Agreed?"
I knew it was going to work before I'd even finished talking. She was smiling, and I could see the wheels in her mind already turning. She was already plotting what she would do—and she was excited by it!
Evil cannot cast out evil. To learn to be kind, you have to practice being kind. Miscreants, beware! The punishment for wickedness is goodness!
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